The man’s guide to women
Women are perhaps from a planet called Backwards. They speak a different language, do the opposite of you and sometimes just react in a way that makes no sense at all.
Esquire gives a few tips for how to react in these otherworldly situations.
She’s giving you the silent treatment: Say, “I love you and smile innocently.”
Where’s dinner? “You know what would be so great? That amazing pasta dish that you made a couple of weeks ago.”
She’s yelling. Find out at whom she’s yelling. If it’s someone else, let her yell. If it’s you, say, “Let’s have a drink and talk about it.”
Her chin is quivering. Immediate hug. Be prepared for tears.
She’s still getting ready. Remember that she just wants to look her best.
She won’t have sex with you. Give her a back rub, kiss her neck.
Her friend is extremely attractive. Avoid direct eye contact.
She won’t return your phone calls. Move on.
Pic: Shutterstock
at 09:31
What a k@k article.
at 09:46
Defaq did I just read? Dude if you don’t want to write, then don’t. Nobody is making you.
at 10:34
I second and third you, Gerhard and Ben. Or maybe author of the article is fortunate to meet only wrong ladies?
at 10:43
ok to the 3 stuges that posted before me… you obviously don’t understand women or know good advice when you see it. its ok, some guys do get it and for them WIN.
at 11:14
Oh thanks for the article , do not remember myself having such good laugh maybe since yesterday when my boy tried to give his mommy a bum smack. I suppose i can answer some of statements above from an avarege woman’s point of view.
1. If i like something particular my husband cooked years ago i tell him straight that lets say i would gladly pay my life for those spare ribs off the braai. n this case iI am going to have them this very evening , guaranteed.
2. I do not have a habit to yell, i find it of a very low class and absolutely unacceptable, especially when in public. But if it happens (usually once on a blue moon) then everyone must know- let me get my steam out and if an occasional drink is offered there’s a very high possibility i’ll swing it right into someone’s face. Better stand by and let the performance be over.
3. I do not like to expose my tears as i prefer to keep an image of a tuffy. If it happens to me to cry i’d rather hide in a toilet and pretend i am having a running tum. Once i’m over i’ll come out and tell everything as it is without any hysterics involved.
4. What about getting ready for some occasion i perfectly know my time so if it requires 2 hrs for me to brush up my face and butt i’ll start doing it early enough. By the time we suppose to leave i’ll be standing in the doorway and tapping my foot on the floor as if to say I am ready to rock!
5. Of course i wont have sex if i have a period. Honestly i didnt have an idea that a back rub and a kiss on my neck can stop it… Magic!
6. It happened so that the most of my friends are men. So if any of them appears attractive to my husband… Well i know for sure he is not a gay:D If to be honest physical appearance means the least to him and thus i am secure for all my married life as long as i dont go bitchy.
7. If i dont return someone’s call its a clear indication that i’ve lost all my interest in him and he doesnt need that advise to move on, he needs to do so.
Clear enough?