Dump or be dumped
Break-ups are never easy, whether you are the one doing the breaking up or if it’s the other way around.
It’s hard to tell which is worse: dumping someone or being dumped. The former is a mixture of guilt and finding the right moment – (“Should I do it just after we arrive at the restaurant, or after we’ve called for the bill?”) – and wondering if you’ll suffer dumper’s remorse (“Maybe she’s my last chance…”).
And being dumped probably means wondering about what you did wrong, going on the rebound and then feeling guilty afterwards.
True Love suggests four ways to leave your lover – gently:
1. Location, location, location. Pick a good strategic break-up setting – for example, outside, walking in the park. It’s crowded enough to ensure there won’t be a big scene, but private enough to prevent your dumpee feeling as if she’s naked at a funeral. Other agreeable locales include restaurants (but not a favourite), or during a walk around the block. The worst place to break up? At a party or work. The only thing worse than being dumped is being dumped in front of people you’re going to have to see on a regular basis.
2. Timing is everything. Another key to effective break-ups is precise timing. Being in a park gives both your dumpee and you the chance to leave once the deed is done. If you’re ending the relationship at a restaurant, do it only after the bill has come and you’ve paid for dinner.
3. Many unhappy returns. Never break up with someone within two weeks of a major holiday, or her birthday, or within a month of Valentine’s Day or Christmas.
4. It’s not you, it’s me. Whenever you end a relationship, be sure to make your reasons relevant only to you. Say: ‘This isn’t working for me.’ Stick with your basis and keep repeating yourself, if necessary… If you say ‘We fight too much’ or ‘You don’t seem happy’, your partner may offer to change, taking all the air out of your break-up and landing you right back in the relationship.